Gay Families

Families come in all shapes and sizes. Most of our members are fathers who have children from former heterosexual relationships. Some are supportive partners of gay fathers and others are gay fathers through adoption. We are a diverse group of men from all backgrounds, races, and religions. We come together to give each other support and encouragement and also to have a little fun. Collectively our members have been through the trials and challenges of coming out, separation, divorce, rebuilding and establishing new relationships. A place of encouragement and understanding, GFC Baltimore has many members who are leading happy, normal, fulfilling lives as loving fathers, partners and friends...who just happen to be gay.

News and Information

Thoughts from the Triangular Office -  Monthly feature by the president of GFC Baltimore.

I want to share with you something that happened to me today. A friend?s eight-year-old daughter asked me if I was gay, and I said yes I am. We talked a little about it and she said that two men together seemed ?kind of creepy? to her. I told her that it was simply two people loving each other and left it at that. But really I was somewhat hurt by her comment since I have known her since she was three.

But why was I hurt? I thought about it later and realized that it hurt because perhaps I believed it was ?creepy? also. The same external sources that were shaping her thoughts also shaped mine. I thought a little deeper and realized that these sources (peer groups, social mores, religious teachings, etc) are only as powerful as we make them.

Why have I internalized this group thinking about gays when it directly contradicts my own internal feelings? Why have I accepted it as truth when I know inside that I am no different from anyone else except for my sexual preference?

Thinking some more I realized that I will never be at ease with myself till I completely let go of society?s judgment and trust my own. I realized that I will never come out and be myself as long as I hold on to old thoughts that were shaped by others. I also realized that I couldn?t change this group thought unless I changed my own first.

Perhaps if others saw me at ease with myself it would change how they think. Even if it didn?t change anyone I would still be fine and secure in my own judgment. And thinking some more (I like to think) I also realized that by being at ease with myself it would help others who are struggling with the same issues.

That it why I am sharing this with all of you. Many of you are already secure in your own self judgment but I am sure some of you are still struggling with external judgments. Today my eight-year-old friend made me very aware of the need to resolve this struggle and I hope by writing about this it will help others to face this issue.

We had a good turnout at the January meeting with three new members attending. I look forward to seeing another good turnout at the February meeting! We are also going to start a second meeting in Columbia on the last Thursday of the month beginning in March. If you know anyone in the Columbia area who could benefit from our group please tell them about us. It will be held at the Owen Brown Interfaith Center in the Owen Brown Village Center. See you on February 9th at our next meeting!

Jim Stigliano
President, GFC Baltimore

 

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